back and off again

two schools in a week..
east spring pri and bowen sec..
back to back camp..
good money but super tiring..

not much memories of east spring pri..
only remembered that we instructors had to keep pitching and fixing tents..

what you gonna be ya?
sai kang warrior!
what you gonna be ya?
sai kang warrior!
tell me tell me whose the best?
sai kang warrior is the best!
...............

what lousy and shitty tents camelot has..
had enough of tent pitching..
pls free me from it, but i guess there will definitely be more of it..
dorms are infested with stupid bed bugs !!
i better not bring them with me again !!

after many primary sch, finally a sec sch..
and wow, really enjoyed with my students but not the people i work with..
bowen sec, great bunch of students thru out the whole cohort..
even the NA and NT are execellent..

was buried in the sand by the students..
made me become a mermaid with huge boobs!!
and they added nipples on it.. hahax..
woops, sensored.. =P..
really quite enjoyed myself with them..

after all, i really still prefer sec sch..
like who doesnt right..
good luck to me for upcoming mayflower pri..

super shag after break camp..
long time since we last did back to back le..
went over to bao bei place..
we both drop dead, spend most of our time sleeping..

anyway, 3rd month anni wasnt what i expected..
pay wasnt out, there's nothing much we could do..
and there's no time for belated, but it's ok.. =)
it's more important than anything else as long as you are by my side..
your presence makes the day happen..

but still, just hope that the 4th will be more memorable..
even thou 4th doesnt seems that significant..

bao bei, thanks for anything and everything..
for you really made me happen..

emo

had been feeling quite emo and down lately..
maybe cos of PMS..?
i'm not sure, really dont know..

sighs, so hated myself..

sorry for being so selfish..
sorry for being not frank about it..
sorry for being insensitive to your feelings..
sorry for hurting you, even if it's only a little or it doesnt really matters..

thou i think you said it doesnt really matters so as to make me feel better..
but am really super guilty about it..
cos to me, it really does matters..
if we were to change shoes, it really will be a matter to me..
and i know i really did wrong this time round..
and i really not think about how you will feel..

i do not dare ask to be forgiven..
but i hope there's a second chance..
pls dont verdict me to death sentence..
i'll learn to be frank about it..
and yes i will.. is definitely a must !!
for i do not want to hurt you another time..

smile, joy and laughter are what i hope to see in you..

anyway, departures seems like real agony to me lately..
really treasured and enjoyed our short meeting times..
it is really very wonderful..
however, time seems to pass extremely fast with you by my side..
at times i just wish that the clock would stop ticking..

was really damn reluctant to leave today..
fear in me arose once again..
really missed you alot thou you're right beside me..
i just dont want to leave..
i just want to cling onto you..
i just want to stay in your arms..
i just want to spend my night with you..
but i cant, we had to go home..

you had craved my life with full of wonderful images and memories..
felt so empty just now without you..
the need for you is getting stronger each day..
you had became a basic necessity in my life..

you're just like honey, i'm just like the bees..
with such great charm, i'm so attracted to you..
just like the bees and honey..

hate to say goodbye..
hate to turn around and walk off..
hate to see your back view getting smaller and smaller..
if only there is no goodbye.....
if only.......

if only, then we all should long ago become millionaire le lo..

feelings so being supressed inside..
feel like it's going to explode soon.. anytime..
and i so feel like crying out hard..

i miss bao bei..
a few more hours to go..

emo~

better luck !!

just came back from camp not long ago with camelot..
it still feels better working with my 'home' company..
felt more comfortable with the surroundings and people..
and time seems to pass super fast..

plus, i got 2 great buddies !!
at last, i dont have horrible buddy anymore!!
and i get to slp with bao bei every night..
aww..

but guess the kids didnt really enjoyed themselves pretty much like other primary schools i took..
so sorry to them, but dont know why, i'm much stricter to them compared to other pri sch..
they were really quite alright, neither that rowdy nor mischievous..
thou kids are kids, they were really just normal behaved kids..
but just some how, i'm really much stricter this time round..
sorry kids, thou you all cant see this.. hahax..

accompanied bao bei around during the night of briefing..
dont worry bao bei..
dont have to feel guilty about it or what..
it's what i should do, and guess it's the least that i can do for u ba..
seldom see u so expressionless and stone-ing around..
plus u didnt even pay attention to briefing at all just made me cant help but to worry for u..

seeing you sad makes me sad..
seeing you happy makes me happy..
how you feel greatly affects how i feel too..

at times i'm just wondering how amazing it is when others' mood can also greatly cause an impact on and affect our mood..
but well, guess it just shows how much the person means to you ba..

and it's you bao bei..
no one else anymore..
only you..

<3

unlucky me

just had a fall few days ago at kembangan mrt station..
was talking while walking down the stairs and the next moment i was sitting down on the floor..
i missed a step and 'ouch' i went, laughing my way..

bao bei so bad la..
asked me if i'm fine not, and then started laughing..
super sway can..!
i sprained my ankle and had to report to camp that afternoon..!

already so sway for the start of the week..
but who knows, some more sway-ness is waiting for me..

my first camp with saints adventure was equally as sway.. =(..
went to camp with a heavy heart due to my sprained ankle..
it was really swollen..

sway-ness waiting for me in camp..
my buddy sucks big time !! totally a big fat idiot !!
who looks just like the kung-fu panda..
when one becomes too experienced, sometimes he will tend to become cocky and act like he's some super big shot.. yes, that's my partner..
even the second camp chief cant stand him..
so how bad do you think he is..?

shooting back at the camp chief, over stepping his authority..
scolding the kids and trainers stupid..
making fun and giving the kids name..
had to tell him about our kid's medical condition, he say don't tell him..
asked him when i'm not sure, tell me dont worry, and the next thing is, i have to settle for him..
updated matrix also never bother to tell me..
totally no communication between both of us..
shit him big times !!!

was so relieved after break camp..
i no longer need to face my 'idiot buddy'..
i no longer need to attend super long briefing and debrief..
and their debrief really reminds me of what we had gone thru during NYP camps debrief sessions..
those long winded, childish and immature debriefs..
boos !!

overall, it didnt leave me with a very good first impression working with Saints Adventure..
it was so unorganised..
but well, the management pple are very good..
imagine the boss of the company volunteer to help you do your job..
the BOSS leh, where can you find this often..?
and it's instant cash..
guess it's only these 2 factors that attract me now..
but i will really think twice if there's further opportunities to work with them..

it only makes me think thru what bao bei told me..
why we had to put our pride down to work for a new company, where we had to start and learn from scratch..
while in camelot it's pple listening to us..
but guess it's the exposure to different working experience and cultures..
sighs, and yes, that's life..

shoo those unlucky moments in the week..
and here comes a brand new week..
i believe the new week will be better..
and hopefully i'm going back to camelot this week..
i miss the planes, the sea and the stars pretty much..
job job job, come to me ba !!

and yups, to all my cliques in sec sch, poly or camelot..
you guys have been wandering round my mind these few days..
really missed you peeps..
wonder how you pple have been..

sorry, i've got very irregular working days and time..
cant really confirm when i'm free or busy..

but for sure, you guys are in my mind..
hopefully one day we will bump into each other on the streets..

take care pple..

off to rest my still swollen ankle.. =(..
zao~

yes i can !!

haven been home for quite some time..
and yes, i finally blogged..
yaya i know it's been quite a long time ago..

had been quite jobless these few weeks..
but well, camp still carried on.. at bao bei's place..

got bit sick a week ago..
but bao bei took great care of me, thus recovered fast !!
you boiled water for me knowing that i dont like to shower in cold water..
was still asking why need to boil water..
and you never really give me an answer..
and the next moment, you came back with the 'surprise'..
aww.. super sweet can~..
my heart really melted at that moment..

recently went to sport 1 course..
and i concluded that i really, seriously sucks at climbing !!
that's when i realised even with whole lots of determination, sometimes one just cannot achieve it..
i keeping telling myself, yes i can reach the top, i can..
reach higher and step higher..
but still, always cant find my grip and fall..
maybe the wall is too difficult..?
but i dont see why others can do it while i cant..
never mind, i will be back there one day and try again..
i just needed more practice..
like always..

and i still haven master dragonboat coxing..
i want to become an official DI one day..
grr.. had been stuck in it for quite some time le..
practice more practice..
never say never !!

bought bao bei a new bag that day..
woohoo, not very cheap wor..
but since you really liked it so much, so....
seeing you carrying the bag happily with such a wide smile, it just proves me that it's more worthwhile than anything else..

i only want to see you happy..
and how i wish i could diminished the fear in you..
but i know, it's impossible..
for once bitten, twice shy..

to be frank, i dislike her..
i hated her for what she had done and how she had treated you..

but bao bei..
she is she, me is me..
we are completely two different people..
dont put me together with her..
i am fishcake arh..!!
believe in me..

just how and what should i do to build the kind of trust in you again..?
pls teach me how.. bao bei...

'once bitten twice shy'..
what a well invented phrase..

help !!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh !! what's happening these few days !!

parents keep nagging about my job..!! what's wrong with it?!! am happily enjoying my work.. thou tiring, but i enjoyed myself.. and i really learnt lots of skills and 人生道理 that cannot be learnt from classrooms.. plus the sense of satisfaction is beyond description.. but all you do is to nag and nag and nag..

first say let me do what i want.. then later complain always never see me.. then say no CPF, ask me convert to full time.. siao !! and keep asking me change job arh, if not go study or what la !! etc etc.. what the hell manz !! for the N times i keep repeating i really like my job now.. no intention of changing my job, at least give me a few more months..

yes thou i know it's a job that dont have any CPF and it's unstable.. but so...?? i didnt say i want to do this as a lifelong career right?!! i did say ultimately one day i will switch jobs right?!! i did say give me a few more months right?!!

sometimes i just wanted to have a peaceful and quiet place to rest and relax.. but it just turns out vice versa.. not that i dont want to come home, but when home is like that, i wont feel like coming home anymore.. it kills my peaceful and comfy environment, and it always ended up in a heated argument..

i do not have much patience to explain more, again and again.. it's always the same issue everyday !!

and pls, stop asking about him.. yes we've broken up.. told you so many times as well le, still keep asking!! i dont see a need to explain why and never wished to.. never say means alr dont feel like saying but you just cant understand even after i've told you my stand.. ask and ask and ask.. what the hell.. it's all history, and now i've alr moved on.. so can you pls get back to present and stop stopping at the past...

i'm so sick and tired of it... so pissed off!! thou i know i'm definitely much more fortunate than a lot of families out there, but still, sorry.. home is still not a place where i want to be at if given a choice.. not at the moment..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

enough of the frustrations..
well basically my life is still as enjoyable..
1 month was simple but enjoyable.. *blissed*...
简单就是美 !
thanks bao bei!!

had been catching few movies lately..
'over her dead body' was superb..
cant remember when was the last time i laughed so hard and so long le..
tears even swell up cos of the laughing..
plus watching it with the person beside me makes it even better.. =)..

bao bei.. all i wanna say is that..
thanks for everything..
for you showed me my way to sunrise..
bringing me joy and laughters once again..
happy and blissed are the only words to describe..
having you, there's nothing much more i can ask for..

for i love you for who you are..
to treasure and cherish.......

happy cakey

whee~
super enjoy my life now..
choosing when i want to work and when i dont want to..
plus i enjoyed myself very much during work..

days not working are mostly spent with bao bei..
what's more can i ask for..?

hmm time passed real fast..
going to be 1 month le..

it's not as easy as it seems..
but still, no regrets.. and am really happy..
hope there's more to come.. =)..

east coast tonight again...
wheeee...!!!

never say never

treasure every second, minute, hour, and day spent with you..
every moment with you is like precious gem to me..
there's nothing more i can ask for to have you by my side..

the impossible had already become possible..
so what's impossible..? hmmm...
but the journey really isn't easy thou..

the days spent tgt with you was indeed one of my happiest days in life..
and it's my honour to be able to have you.. lucky me..

you made me feel so comfortable, and you made me let my guard down..
never ever once did i take being able to see you for granted..
for there's still fear in me..
fear of you giving up..

as days go by, my feelings for you become stronger and stronger..
you're just like the honey, and i'm like the bee..

i love the way you look into my eyes..
i love the way you sing aloud..
i love the way you laugh loudly non-stop..
i love the way you are so serious..
i love the way you show your cool attitude..
i love the way you potray yourself..
i love your anything and everything..

for what you do, all seem like an electric shock to me..

there's no unfair..
aren't you loving me now..?
aren't things for you and me going quite well..?

i just cant seem to convince you..
for i hope soon one day either me or someone else might convince you..
but it's really not easy.. i won't give up either..

bao bei.. pls don't ever give up..
pls don't ever leave me alone..
pls don't throw me back into the room of darkness..
you are the light of my life..
bringing and showing me the positive sides of life..
for all i need is you to be by my side..

if so, at least give me some warning..
just like the typhoon warning.. =P
for nothing else except you, means so much to me anymore..

but bao bei, pls remember.. don't forget..
'never say never'...

you're all i needed........ my sunrise.....................

happy cakey

人本来就是很奇怪的动物。有时明知是错或对自己不好的事还要去做。他们傻? 他们笨? 或许吧? 但总之他们要为自己的行为负责任，不可埋怨任何人。

请你们不要太惊讶，我也跟他们一样。明知山有虎，还往山上行。不怕吗? 不后悔?

老实说，我还满怕的。我怕老虎把我吃了，但我不会后悔，也没有什么好后悔的。因为这是我自己所选择的一条路。有些东西比自己更来得重要。我只知道如果我没上山，或现在就决定下山，我就一定会后悔，因为山上有一件非常重要的东西。我宁愿背着会被吃掉的心态一步步往上走，也不掉头就走。

我知道未来的路不好走，所以请你们相信我，支持我，鼓励我，这就够了。

至少现在的我是真的从心里的开心，而不再是表面的开心。

这不是最重要的吗?

back n off again

have you enjoyed your april's fool day this year?? yes i know i'm bit slow, ok can, very slow..

i enjoyed mine.. but i'm the one being sabo-ed.. it's so OMG!! all thanks to the camelot gang leh.. what a memorable one.. they emptied my bag, laid out my clothes, my pants, my SPORTS BRA, PANTIES!! we were in the campsite, with others in the dorm..

woops.. *shy.. hahahx..

and i was running like mad can.. not to save me bag, but to save someone... but.... sobs... hahahx...

lazy to type the story la.. read from sharon's blog.. it was fun la thou... you will never know how much we enjoyed ourselves unless you are with us.. a bunch of super crazy pple...

these few days were spent with my qin ai de... she was at my place to accompany me.. aww.. so sweet of her.. just because i dont want to go home, she accompanied me outside... love her deep deep.. hahax... muacks...

going out again.. i'll be back soon.. i guess.. hahahx..

i'm really enjoying my life now.. work and outside... esp with the bunch of lovely people...