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home sweet home.. in camp for the past 1 week..

sch starting real soon, and i wonder how am i going to live thru and survive this whole semester.. it seems like hell to me..

can i not go back to sch.. sighs..

i wanna run away..

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what's the use of my countdown?!! the stupid countdown!!
i hate this world!!
what should i do?!!
what do you want me to do?!!
nothing i do seems to help with the frustrations!!
how how how?!!
how the stupid hell!!
what the hell what the hell what the hell!!
maybe i should just end everything?!!
i hate promises!! i shouldnt have made any promises!!
everything seems to be so fake!! so fake!! so fake!!
i cant believe!!!
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
stupid!! idiiot!! fish!!
life is like madness!!
i hate everything!!!
i hate myself!!
i'm so disappointed with this world!!
i am not who i am anymore!!
i see devil in me!! i see darkness in me!!

i shall wait for the day where i can see sunrise again.. if that happens, pls be happy for me.. i wish i wish i wish.....


*sry i just needed a place for frustrations thou it doesnt seems to help.. sighs...

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mentally tired.. still holding on..
stupid virus around making me more vulnerable.. cough cough..

3 weeks had passed.. 1 more month left!!
hang on...

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i love to sit in a corner, but loneliness bored me..
i love to be in a crowd, but live in my own world..
contradicting..

i love to listen, but not to speak..
i loved to speak, but no words came out from my mouth..
contradicting..

wish to speak, but it's so difficult to explain..
wish to speak, but some things just should not be said..

when speaking, words came out did not describe my feelings..
when speaking, words came out cannot describe my feelings..

so, what's the use of speaking when it doesnt make a difference with or without opening your mouth..

some things can only be felt in the heart, where there is no suitable words that can be used to describe..
deep down in my heart, consist of many mixed feelings and thoughts.. can you feel how i feel ?? if you can, then you can understand the emo-ness deep down in me..

almost lose control of myself today.. it's just that close..

busy schedule pls come back to me.. i need my drug..

*35 more days.. 2 weeks has passed..
when will the sky be clear??