help !!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh !! what's happening these few days !!

parents keep nagging about my job..!! what's wrong with it?!! am happily enjoying my work.. thou tiring, but i enjoyed myself.. and i really learnt lots of skills and 人生道理 that cannot be learnt from classrooms.. plus the sense of satisfaction is beyond description.. but all you do is to nag and nag and nag..

first say let me do what i want.. then later complain always never see me.. then say no CPF, ask me convert to full time.. siao !! and keep asking me change job arh, if not go study or what la !! etc etc.. what the hell manz !! for the N times i keep repeating i really like my job now.. no intention of changing my job, at least give me a few more months..

yes thou i know it's a job that dont have any CPF and it's unstable.. but so...?? i didnt say i want to do this as a lifelong career right?!! i did say ultimately one day i will switch jobs right?!! i did say give me a few more months right?!!

sometimes i just wanted to have a peaceful and quiet place to rest and relax.. but it just turns out vice versa.. not that i dont want to come home, but when home is like that, i wont feel like coming home anymore.. it kills my peaceful and comfy environment, and it always ended up in a heated argument..

i do not have much patience to explain more, again and again.. it's always the same issue everyday !!

and pls, stop asking about him.. yes we've broken up.. told you so many times as well le, still keep asking!! i dont see a need to explain why and never wished to.. never say means alr dont feel like saying but you just cant understand even after i've told you my stand.. ask and ask and ask.. what the hell.. it's all history, and now i've alr moved on.. so can you pls get back to present and stop stopping at the past...

i'm so sick and tired of it... so pissed off!! thou i know i'm definitely much more fortunate than a lot of families out there, but still, sorry.. home is still not a place where i want to be at if given a choice.. not at the moment..

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enough of the frustrations..
well basically my life is still as enjoyable..
1 month was simple but enjoyable.. *blissed*...
简单就是美 !
thanks bao bei!!

had been catching few movies lately..
'over her dead body' was superb..
cant remember when was the last time i laughed so hard and so long le..
tears even swell up cos of the laughing..
plus watching it with the person beside me makes it even better.. =)..

bao bei.. all i wanna say is that..
thanks for everything..
for you showed me my way to sunrise..
bringing me joy and laughters once again..
happy and blissed are the only words to describe..
having you, there's nothing much more i can ask for..

for i love you for who you are..
to treasure and cherish.......

happy cakey

whee~
super enjoy my life now..
choosing when i want to work and when i dont want to..
plus i enjoyed myself very much during work..

days not working are mostly spent with bao bei..
what's more can i ask for..?

hmm time passed real fast..
going to be 1 month le..

it's not as easy as it seems..
but still, no regrets.. and am really happy..
hope there's more to come.. =)..

east coast tonight again...
wheeee...!!!

never say never

treasure every second, minute, hour, and day spent with you..
every moment with you is like precious gem to me..
there's nothing more i can ask for to have you by my side..

the impossible had already become possible..
so what's impossible..? hmmm...
but the journey really isn't easy thou..

the days spent tgt with you was indeed one of my happiest days in life..
and it's my honour to be able to have you.. lucky me..

you made me feel so comfortable, and you made me let my guard down..
never ever once did i take being able to see you for granted..
for there's still fear in me..
fear of you giving up..

as days go by, my feelings for you become stronger and stronger..
you're just like the honey, and i'm like the bee..

i love the way you look into my eyes..
i love the way you sing aloud..
i love the way you laugh loudly non-stop..
i love the way you are so serious..
i love the way you show your cool attitude..
i love the way you potray yourself..
i love your anything and everything..

for what you do, all seem like an electric shock to me..

there's no unfair..
aren't you loving me now..?
aren't things for you and me going quite well..?

i just cant seem to convince you..
for i hope soon one day either me or someone else might convince you..
but it's really not easy.. i won't give up either..

bao bei.. pls don't ever give up..
pls don't ever leave me alone..
pls don't throw me back into the room of darkness..
you are the light of my life..
bringing and showing me the positive sides of life..
for all i need is you to be by my side..

if so, at least give me some warning..
just like the typhoon warning.. =P
for nothing else except you, means so much to me anymore..

but bao bei, pls remember.. don't forget..
'never say never'...

you're all i needed........ my sunrise.....................

happy cakey

人本来就是很奇怪的动物。有时明知是错或对自己不好的事还要去做。他们傻? 他们笨? 或许吧? 但总之他们要为自己的行为负责任，不可埋怨任何人。

请你们不要太惊讶，我也跟他们一样。明知山有虎，还往山上行。不怕吗? 不后悔?

老实说，我还满怕的。我怕老虎把我吃了，但我不会后悔，也没有什么好后悔的。因为这是我自己所选择的一条路。有些东西比自己更来得重要。我只知道如果我没上山，或现在就决定下山，我就一定会后悔，因为山上有一件非常重要的东西。我宁愿背着会被吃掉的心态一步步往上走，也不掉头就走。

我知道未来的路不好走，所以请你们相信我，支持我，鼓励我，这就够了。

至少现在的我是真的从心里的开心，而不再是表面的开心。

这不是最重要的吗?

back n off again

have you enjoyed your april's fool day this year?? yes i know i'm bit slow, ok can, very slow..

i enjoyed mine.. but i'm the one being sabo-ed.. it's so OMG!! all thanks to the camelot gang leh.. what a memorable one.. they emptied my bag, laid out my clothes, my pants, my SPORTS BRA, PANTIES!! we were in the campsite, with others in the dorm..

woops.. *shy.. hahahx..

and i was running like mad can.. not to save me bag, but to save someone... but.... sobs... hahahx...

lazy to type the story la.. read from sharon's blog.. it was fun la thou... you will never know how much we enjoyed ourselves unless you are with us.. a bunch of super crazy pple...

these few days were spent with my qin ai de... she was at my place to accompany me.. aww.. so sweet of her.. just because i dont want to go home, she accompanied me outside... love her deep deep.. hahax... muacks...

going out again.. i'll be back soon.. i guess.. hahahx..

i'm really enjoying my life now.. work and outside... esp with the bunch of lovely people...

=(

what an exciting one week.. full of ups and downs.. no doubt there are disappointments.. big big....

but even so, it really made me more to appreciate the people around me.. a very big big thanks to all of them, my camelot gang.. love all of you deep deep, esp my qin ai de..

thanks for listening and being stuck in the center.. dont need to feel guilty about anything de ok?? even if what you said is true, it's not your fault.. i nv blame you for anything.. love my qin ai de..

got to go.. rushing for time.. blog another day.. off to camp.. like again...

misses

back back back.. so sorry for being MIA..

anyway, i've been staying in the campsite almost everyday since the day i last updated.. coming home only once a week to take some stuff and off i go again.. didnt had much time to update.. that's why.. so sorry peeps...

well actually not that busy la, just that sometimes i do not feel like staying at home.. and in the campsite there is a whole bunch of crazy pple.. =).. i will be bored at home you see..

as a whole, this is a happening month, with much ups and down, happy , sad and terrifying experiences.. big thanks to all who helped celebrate my birthday and wish me.. and also my pei hwa students who made a birthday card and mailed it to my house.. it really touched me, or maybe it was just me who's being emo today..

guess you would nv know the sense of satisfaction unless you are a trainer yourselves.. its beyond description.. esp with the experiences we had with peihwa sec..

someone just made me ponder hard again and again.. dont be surprised if one day you see me at the street acting as an ah lian.. it's not easy being a nice and good girl, but is it wrong to be a nice and good girl?? too good?!! i dont think i am at all...

i just dont understand...

goodbye

say goodbye to poly, say goodbye to exams, say goodbye to everything...

off to camp for the whole week, dont miss me..
well, guess no one will miss me too.. hahax...

confused

school's ending, to the working world.. with less than 3 weeks time and i'm free from projects and test.. not a very good thing thou, on the brighter side, i can take a break.. and i so much wanted to travel overseas.. anyone ??

my only wish before i leave NYP is that i can spend it happily.. yet, you made me feeling confused.. what's wrong ?? can you tell me what you want exactly?

anyway, happy new year to everyone.. hope it's not too late..

this is taken during the camp trainers reunion.. together with my two lovely babes i had in camp.. who lent me their shoulders.. *winks..

note to self

nobody said it was easy, but nobody said it was difficult either..

but it's really not easy.. and it's so damn tiring.. maybe that's why i kept falling asleep during lessons.. perhaps staying unconscious is the only way out.. come on, just face it !!

sometimes i thought i have already let it go, but sometimes i thought i did not.. contradicting? yes, no doubt i am.. i thought i dont even know who i am now.. hello it's time you should wake up !!

acting isnt a sign of being strong , it's a sign of weakness.. you act to run away, you act to cover your weakness.. aren't i right? yes, i am..

so much wanted to tell the truth, but it just cant come out of my mouth.. dont want pple to worry? dont know how to say? it's all excuses.. just admit it, you are running away from reality.. yes you're right..

we often say, why must it happen to me? why? but this is life.. life isnt fair, but that's how life is right.. yes, you're right..

truth is, i think i'm still very much affected by it.. at times ignorance is a bless.. no excuses, look ahead in life !! there are much more people who are worst than you !! count yourself a lucky one !!

you did not lost to anyone, instead, you lost to yourself.. you did not only let others down, you let yourself down too.. loser, weakling...

i just hated myself.........