=(

what an exciting one week.. full of ups and downs.. no doubt there are disappointments.. big big....

but even so, it really made me more to appreciate the people around me.. a very big big thanks to all of them, my camelot gang.. love all of you deep deep, esp my qin ai de..

thanks for listening and being stuck in the center.. dont need to feel guilty about anything de ok?? even if what you said is true, it's not your fault.. i nv blame you for anything.. love my qin ai de..

got to go.. rushing for time.. blog another day.. off to camp.. like again...

misses

back back back.. so sorry for being MIA..

anyway, i've been staying in the campsite almost everyday since the day i last updated.. coming home only once a week to take some stuff and off i go again.. didnt had much time to update.. that's why.. so sorry peeps...

well actually not that busy la, just that sometimes i do not feel like staying at home.. and in the campsite there is a whole bunch of crazy pple.. =).. i will be bored at home you see..

as a whole, this is a happening month, with much ups and down, happy , sad and terrifying experiences.. big thanks to all who helped celebrate my birthday and wish me.. and also my pei hwa students who made a birthday card and mailed it to my house.. it really touched me, or maybe it was just me who's being emo today..

guess you would nv know the sense of satisfaction unless you are a trainer yourselves.. its beyond description.. esp with the experiences we had with peihwa sec..

someone just made me ponder hard again and again.. dont be surprised if one day you see me at the street acting as an ah lian.. it's not easy being a nice and good girl, but is it wrong to be a nice and good girl?? too good?!! i dont think i am at all...

i just dont understand...

goodbye

say goodbye to poly, say goodbye to exams, say goodbye to everything...

off to camp for the whole week, dont miss me..
well, guess no one will miss me too.. hahax...

confused

school's ending, to the working world.. with less than 3 weeks time and i'm free from projects and test.. not a very good thing thou, on the brighter side, i can take a break.. and i so much wanted to travel overseas.. anyone ??

my only wish before i leave NYP is that i can spend it happily.. yet, you made me feeling confused.. what's wrong ?? can you tell me what you want exactly?

anyway, happy new year to everyone.. hope it's not too late..

this is taken during the camp trainers reunion.. together with my two lovely babes i had in camp.. who lent me their shoulders.. *winks..

note to self

nobody said it was easy, but nobody said it was difficult either..

but it's really not easy.. and it's so damn tiring.. maybe that's why i kept falling asleep during lessons.. perhaps staying unconscious is the only way out.. come on, just face it !!

sometimes i thought i have already let it go, but sometimes i thought i did not.. contradicting? yes, no doubt i am.. i thought i dont even know who i am now.. hello it's time you should wake up !!

acting isnt a sign of being strong , it's a sign of weakness.. you act to run away, you act to cover your weakness.. aren't i right? yes, i am..

so much wanted to tell the truth, but it just cant come out of my mouth.. dont want pple to worry? dont know how to say? it's all excuses.. just admit it, you are running away from reality.. yes you're right..

we often say, why must it happen to me? why? but this is life.. life isnt fair, but that's how life is right.. yes, you're right..

truth is, i think i'm still very much affected by it.. at times ignorance is a bless.. no excuses, look ahead in life !! there are much more people who are worst than you !! count yourself a lucky one !!

you did not lost to anyone, instead, you lost to yourself.. you did not only let others down, you let yourself down too.. loser, weakling...

i just hated myself.........

move on

it's been long since i updated.. nothing interest me to update anymore..

the year is ending, it's going to be year 2008 in a few more days.. i just hope 2008 will be a better year for me.. 2007 seriously isnt a good year for me, life sucks, especially during the second half or last quarter of the year.. it's been like hell, mental torturing.. i dont mind keep losing mahjong money again for the year 2008 and so on, so long i can be a happy cake once again..

yes, is fat hope i know..

cake ar cake, you just got to move on.. you die die have to.. MOVE ON !!!

cheer me along the way, to the year of 2008, route of uncertainty, fear, to find my world, to find my true self once again..

the sun had set, lost in the darkness..

and i only have 1 wish, i wish.................................................................

countdown

somehow, when you get a very strong gut that the day will not be your day, it really isnt your day.. seriously today, damn sway.. argh !! DANCING CRAB LA !! (in case you miss out on my fav word for the past few weeks, dancing crab in japanese is called kani nabei.. sounds so vulgar..)

or rather, this year is just not my year.. things are just not as smooth, things i expected did not turn out the way, things i did not expect instead happened.. a word to sum up the year, UNBELIEVABLE..

guess this year i grew quite a lot.. perhaps at times, pple just learn better and grow more using the hard way..

3 more days..

i must be strong.. trying hard..

countdown

kept falling down and slipping these few days.. almost everyday without fail.. it's a bad omen i guess.. and i am very sure of it..

guess this time round i really fall hard.. too hard.. sighs..

give me more time to stand up.. i must be strong..

how i wish the clock can stop ticking..

12 more days and goodbye..

countdown

it's a sunday afternoon and here i am at home..

i must be crazy..


i know i am..

tomorrow's the day...

countdown

it's the end of the working days, and it's the start of school days.. after 11 weeks of holiday, i'm back to school..

this holiday has been quite a busy one i supposed.. experienced and learnt new things, esp when in camp, quite fruitful.. however if without the major change in my life now, everything will be fantastic..

i see many hurdles ahead, can the race be completed and all the hurdles are crossed successfully ??

or will it be just like the huge rainbow i saw at the campsite, so magnificent but slowly diminishing and only lasted for the period of time..

somehow i must constantly remind myself to be more...............................

trying hard..

pls pardon me till the day i see the sunrise again.. will i ??


**3 more days to the 'big race'.. will i conquer or fall hard ??