Would You Be There

If i were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's okay,
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time...

If I feel good, would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender love and care,
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
And never look back...

Would you be there...

If I were grey, would you still think of me?
And wish that you could hold me now,
Would you die for me?
All away...

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
To take my breath away?

Would you be there to save my soul tonight,
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be there,
To kiss my pain away?

Would you be there... for me...

Happy 20th

if you ever ask me how big is the universe, my answer will be: i dont know.. it's as big as it seems, too big to be measured, cos you cant find an end to it..

if you ever ask me how deep is my love for you, my answer will be: i dont know.. it's as deep as it seems, too deep to be measured, cos you cant find the end to it..

my love for you is as big as the universe.. no matter what i say, it cannot best describe everything, cos there is no word in the universe that can express my feelings towards you..

it's you who showed me what is love..
it'a you who showered me with care and concern..
it's you who chased away the storm and brought me sunshine..
it's you who taught me to become more confident..
it's you, it's you, it's all about you..

my life will not be as happening if you did not have the key to my heart..

for now, all i know is that deep down in my inner heart, you stand a very important position, and it's still so strong that even if a hurricane attacks, it will still stand there strongly and with pride.. =P..

i really cannot make any promises to what will happen in the future, but we both shall walk hand in hand to overcome the difficulties..

four more months to go..

to my dearest..

Life

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full they agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar . Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things- your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained ...your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal."

Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

**When things in your life seem almost too much too handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee**

Story

I cried for my brother 6 times. He was 3 years younger than me. I was born in a secluded village of a mountain. Days by days my parents plowed the yellow dry soil with their backs facing the sky.

Once, to buy a handkerchief which all girls around me seemed to have, I stole 50 cents from my father's drawer. Father know about it right away. He made my younger brother and me kneeled against the wall, with a bamboo stick in his hand.

"Who stole the money?" he asked.

I was stunned, too afraid to talk. Father didn't hear any of us admit, so he said, "Fine, if nobody wants to admit, you two should be beaten!"

He lifted up the bamboo stick. Suddenly, my younger brother gripped father's hand and said," Dad, I was the one who did it!"

The long stick smacked on my brother's back repeatedly. Father was so angry that he kept on whipped my brother until he lost his breath.

After that, he sat down on our stone bed and scolded my brother, "You have learnt to steal from your own house now, what other embarrassing things you will do in the future?? You should be beaten to death! You shameless thief!"

That night, mother and I hugged my brother. His body full of injuries, but he didn't shed a single tear. In the middle of the night, all of a sudden I cried out loudly. My brother covered my mouth with his little hand and said, " Sis, now don't cry anymore. Everything has happened."

I still hate myself for didn't have enough courage to admit what I had done. Years passed, but the incident still looked like it just happened yesterday. I will never forget my brother's expression when he protected me. That year, my brother was 8 years old; I was 11 years old.

When my brother was in his last year of his lower secondary school, he was accepted in an upper secondary school in the central. At the same time, I was accepted into a province's university.

That night, father squatted in the yard, smoking, packet by packet. I could hear him said, "Both our children have good results? very good results?"

Mother wiped off her tears and sighed," What is the use? How can we possibly finance both of them?"

At that time, my brother walked out, he stood in front of father and said, "Dad, I don't want to continue my study anymore, I have read enough books."

Father swung his hand and slapped brother on his face. "Why do you have a spirit so **** weak? Even if it means I have to beg for money on the streets, I will send you two to school until you both finish your study!"

And then, he started to knock on every house in the village to borrow money.

I stuck out my hand as soft as I can to my brother's swollen face, and said, "A boy has to continue his study; If not, he will not be able to leave this depths of poverty."

Me, on the other hand, had decided not to further my study to university. Who knows on the next day, before dawn, my brother left the house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes and a few dry beans. He sneaked to the side of my bed and left a note on my pillow; "Sis, get into an university is not easy. I will go find a job and send money to you." I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost my voice. That year, my brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years old.

With the money father borrowed from the whole village, and money my brother earned from carrying cement on his back at construction site, finally, I managed to get to the third year of my study in the university.

One day, I was studying in my room, when my roommate came in and told me, "There's a villager wait for you outside!"

Why is there a villager looking for me? I walked out, and saw my brother from afar, His whole body is dirty, covered by dust, cement and sands. I asked him, "Why don't you tell my roommate that you are my brother?"

He replied with a smile," Look at my appearance. What will they think if they know that I am your brother? Don't they laugh at you?"

I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I swept away dusts from my brother's body. And said with a lump in my throat, "I don't care of what people say! You are my brother no matter what your appearance is?"

From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He wore it on me and said, "I saw all the girls in town are wearing it. So, I think you should also have one."

I could not hold back myself anymore. I pulled my brother into my arms and cried and cried. That year, my brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years old.

The first time I brought my boyfriend home, the broken window had been repaired. And it looked so clean inside the house. After, my boyfriend went home, I danced like a small girl in front of my mother, "Mom, you don't have to spend so many time cleaning the house!"

But she said with a smile," It was your brother who went home early to clean the house. Didn't you see the wound on his hand? He was injured while replacing the window."

I went into my brother's small bedroom. Looking at his thin face, I felt like there are hundreds of needle pricked in my heart. I put some ointment on his wound and bandaged it, "Does it hurt? " I asked him.

"No, it doesn't hurt. You know, when I was working in the construction site, stones falling on my feet all the time. Even that could not stop me from working and.."

In the middle of the sentence, he stopped. I turned my back on him and tears rolling down my face. That year, my brother was 23 years old; I was 26 years old.

After I got married, I lived in the city. Lots of time my husband invited my parents to come and live with us, but they didn't want. They said, once they left the village,they didn't know what to do.

My brother also didn't agree, he said, "Sis, you just take care of your parents-in-law. I will take care of mom and dad here."

My husband became the director of his factory. We wanted my brother to get the job as the manager in the department of maintenance. But, my brother rejected the offer. He insisted on starting to work as a reparation worker.

One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable, when he got electrocuted, and was sent to the hospital. My husband and I visited him. Looked at the white gypsum on his leg, I grumbled, "Why did you reject to be a manager? Manager will not do something dangerous like this. Look at you now, such a serious injury. Why you didn't want to listen to us?"

With a serious expression on his face, he defended on his decision, "Think of brother-in-law? He just became the director, and I almost uneducated. If I became the manager, what kind of rumors will fly around?"

My husband's eyes filled up with tears, and then I said, "But you lack in education also because of me!"

"Why talking about the past?" My brother held my hand.

That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years old.

My brother was 30 years old when he married a farmer girl from the village. In his wedding reception, the master of ceremonies asked him, "Who is the one you respect and love the most?"
Without thinking, he answered," My sister." He continued by telling a story I could not even remember.

"When I was in primary school, the school was in different village. Everyday, my sister and I walked for 2 hours to go school and go home. One day, I lost one of my pair of gloves. My sister gave me one of hers. She only wore one glove and walked for so far. When we got home, her hand was so trembled because of the weather that was so cold that she could not even hold her chopsticks. From that day on, I swore that as long as I live, I would take care of my sister and be good to her."

Applause filled up the room. All guests turned their attentions to me. Words were so hard to come out from my mouth, "In my whole life, the one I would like to thank the most is my brother,"

And in this happy occasion, in front of the crowd, tears rolled down my face again.

*Love and care for the one you love every single days of your life. You may think what you did is just a small deed, but to that someone, it may mean a lot.

团结就是力量

数字 0 总是既可怜又孤单，因为它的数字最小，所以没有别的数字愿意跟它做朋友。虽然 0 也觉得自己没有什么份量，但是它仍然很想要有个朋友。于是，它决定自己出发去寻找。

起初，数字 0 遇见了 2 和 3，接着又遇到了其他数字，但是大家都觉得 0 这个数字太小，所以都不肯跟它做朋友，是 0 因此受到很大的挫折。

不过，有个数字和 0 一样有着同样可怜的身世，那就是数字 1。

1 和 0 一样一直在寻找朋友，但是其他的数字却都看不起它，所以 1 也一直交不到朋友。

在一次偶然的机会下，数字 1 遇到了数字 0。

0 和 1 互相邀请对方成为自己的朋友，于是两人很快就成为一对相知相惜，无所不谈的好朋友。

奇怪的是，当 1 和 0 成为好朋友以后，之前那些看不起它们的数字们，居然纷纷跑来要求跟它们做朋友，因为它们都好羡慕 1 和 0 组成的 10。

所以，在 1 和 0 的故事之后，便有一句话这么流传开来，那就是“两个人的力量比一个人强。”

勇气 by Fish Leong

终于做了这个决定
别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定
我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易
我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃

爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义
我们都需要勇气
去相信会在一起人
潮拥挤我能感觉你
放在我手心里你的真心

如果我的坚强任性
会不小心伤害了你
你能不能温柔提醒
我虽然心太急更害怕错过你

「對不起....我愛你」

小時候坐爸爸開的車~~ 長大..坐男朋友開的車.覺得很幸福..很快樂...坐在副駕駛坐..

可以不用注意路況..可以一邊補妝一邊哼歌.. 可以不用擔心停車位..可以不用擔心車子髒了..要保養了...

9年來..我是像公主一樣被寵愛著..被保護著.. 台北的公車..台北的捷運對我來說..只是一個名詞..
我從來不用擔心我的交通.不論上班下班.逛街回老家. 我都是他接送的.我真的覺得很幸福.. 朋友也都說我真的很好命

他說車子是大老婆.我是小老婆.. 記得當時我還吃醋..他笑著說沒有車車這樣載你.你怎麼皮膚這麼白.你怎麼都不用擔心風吹雨淋... 所以我跟他一起愛上車了....和他一起改裝車.和他一起去跑山道.

坐他開的車.就算跑到時速250了再快.我也不怕..

18歲那一年...他說.貝~去考駕照吧..我說為什麼..
他說可以拿來抵扣紅單阿..我說不要~~他說..
其實.假如有一天我沒辦法再接送妳時..妳一定要學著獨立.學會自己開車.自己照顧自己.我賴在他的懷中撒嬌說..
你用永遠也不會丟下我..接送我是你一輩子的責任..
可是..被他逼著~我還是學會了開車.
當我10分鐘路考全過時..他還笑著說..有偷學我的功夫唷

１８歲的我．考到了駕照了..
說真的.我的生活並沒有什麼改變.生活依然是這樣.他依然載我逛街.載我上下班.駕照對我來說.沒有任何用途.
頂多如他所說拿去抵扣紅單.很多人都說．妳都依賴他載．沒有他載妳怎麼辦？而且他都這樣管你管ㄉ這麼嚴．又這麼緊．妳都沒關係喔？

我總是覺得這是屬於我得幸福．即使再沒自由．我也甘之如飴．而他．也把我當成他的責任．我們對彼此是把對方當成責任般．我不能沒有他他也不想失去我．他覺得照顧．接送女友．是男人都要做責任．

我覺得陪著他去跑山道．幫他一起改車．改音響．是比我的工作還重要工作．因為他熱衷改車．．我也跟著喜歡車．

我喜歡搜集香水．他每２個月送一罐香水給我．．

我們在朋友們的眼中是這麼的幸福．９年來始終如一日．．．我們都沒有變心過．也許有爭吵．也許也會為了小事生氣．但我們．真的真的很愛對方．這麼相愛．我想連上天都會妒嫉吧．．

去年過年時．．他開車一路飆往金山的方向．坐他的車從來不會怕．因為我真的全心全意的相信他．到了金山海邊．很冷．他要我坐在暗暗的海邊．叫我閉上眼．他說．要送我一樣東西．我本來想．應該是香水吧．當我睜眼時．我真的傻住了．．．．．

一整排的硬皮鯊一起開頭燈．刺的我眼睛睜不開．他從車隊走像我．．．．．我想我這一生忘不了那種景像．他沒有浪漫的問我要不要嫁給他．他只說．這是我的求婚．妳已經是我老婆．今生今世．我們要一起到老．．．好不好．我沒有說話．只是拼命傻笑．．點頭．．．別人用鑽戒求婚．我男友．用車隊來感動我．那天有將近２０台硬皮煞．都綁著愛心的氣球．我們就這樣跑了金山．林口．北海岸．我想也只有他求婚不忘呸車．．．．．

如果．．．如果．．．那天我們不去小硫球玩我．．我想我現在應該是一個無憂無慮的家庭主婦吧．．．．就在我們拍完婚紗照．準備過完年結婚時．．

我們答應了朋友的邀約一起去小硫球玩．他笑著說．我們先渡蜜月．帥吧．．因為他的車我們結婚時要當禮車．所以當時下高雄褡船．我們不是開自己的車．

我們是坐朋友開的四門喜美．沿路大家說說笑笑．到休息站．換我男友開時．他朋友讓我坐前坐．平常我坐他車．我都不繫安全帶的．那天．．他做了一個很奇怪的舉動．他幫我繫安全帶．．．．．．．．

他笑著說．．綁著．．不要傷到我兒子．．沒錯．．．．．當時我已經懷孕１個多月了．．．．．

你知道嗎?懷有自己最愛的人的孩子是多麼多麼的快樂…而這個孩子對我們來說又是這麼這麼的珍貴……我永遠記得當我告訴他，我懷孕時發生的事情……

那天..我們跟車隊要去跑山道…要去九份烤蛂K…路很小條..他要跟著前面的車彎來彎去.所以他開的很專心..

老公~今天媽媽中午煮海鮮粥.，我吃一點就吐了ㄟ……他很專心開車連看都沒有看我一眼…喔~那有沒有吃胃藥可是我覺得，不是胃不舒服喔~那明天再帶你去看醫生..而且….我那個2個月沒來了……喔~那個沒來~~也會吐喔~不是啦~~老公我懷孕了…………………喔~~你懷孕了….懷孕~~什麼!!!你懷孕了.!!!他突然猛力的煞車…………我只聽到ㄍㄧ……碰~~~~~沒錯…後面的撞上來了………………

哭爸唷~~你煞車幹麻……他朋友走到我們的車旁……我只見他傻傻的跟他朋友笑著說…我老婆懷孕了~~~~

也許你們會覺得…女友懷孕沒什麼，但是對我們來說，這本來是不可能的任務.因為我的體質關係，卵子一直不容易受精，所以即使9年來我們從來沒避孕過，但我卻一直沒有懷孕，也因為他是獨子，所以曾經一度為了我不孕的事情，我難過的想分手，他卻認真的告訴我，沒有孩子有沒有孩子的好，要一起走一輩子的人是妳，其他的，沒關係所以在我們的心中，這孩子是老天爺恩賜給我們的結婚禮物

懷孕之後，產檢時，醫生告訴他我子宮壁比較薄要注重安胎，所以，他不准我上班，不准我穿任何有跟的鞋子，不准我吃巧克力，不准我用跑的下樓梯，甚至不准我看電視，又加上我孕吐的嚴重，吃什麼吐什麼，沒有變胖，反而更瘦，他就帶我去吃任何我想吃得東西，連假日車隊約要去跑山道，他都只是載著我慢慢開，我知道他真的很期待也很重視這個孩子，我們因為相愛而結婚，結婚前又剛好懷孕，一切都是這麼的美好，美的讓我覺得很像做夢般，很怕醒來就不見…

那天~~~~在上路之前他說，繫好安全帶…不要傷到我兒子…還用一件外套蓋著我得肚子，再繫上安全帶……

我笑笑的告訴他，不會啦，他還要出來跟你一起賽車…………因為，他朋友的車是新車，什麼都沒改，他朋友就要他操一下那台車，ㄍㄧ看看可以到多少啦!!我男友起皺眉頭說，真的要ㄍㄧ，不要啦!!都沒改，危險啦!!不會啦!拜託!ㄍㄧ一下啦!吼~煩~~~~

坐他的車我不怕，不只是因為他的技術我很放心，更加上，我們的車所有的安全性的東西我們都改的很好，但是坐在別人的車，雖是他開的，但是我一想到連避震器都沒換，有一點擔心，我握了一下他的腳，他微微笑著說，跑一段而且，沒關係，他油門一踩，我看著時速表150.~160.170.180.200整台車都晃的非常嚴重，我說~老公~~不要，當他放油門時，他朋友，卻說再ㄍㄧ，而且手還伸到排擋桿這，往後拉一擋，車子突然暴衝，前面又突然切出一輛車，他閃避不及，方向盤往右拉..，車子失控，撞上分隔島，再彈出來，….後面的車又追撞上來就翻車了…

我們車頂朝下..在地上滑行約100公尺，我看著地上，鋼板摩擦地面，擦出火花，玻璃火花~都往我的臉飛過來…嘴裡，想喊他的名字，卻怎麼也發不出聲音，碰的一聲，車撞回分隔島終於停了下來…

車子在極大的碰撞下.之後….終於停了下來~~~

有坐過360度的嚇嚇叫嗎?在到最頂端的時候，人會懸在半空中，屁股離開椅子，只靠著安全扣，固定著，當時我就是這樣被吊在位子上，我想出聲喊他，但是胸懷的安全帶勒的緊緊的，好痛好痛，只能微微的發出一點聲音，老公~救我…
貝!!!沒事吧~他一邊說一邊伸出手來握著我的手，好痛~~~~不怕不怕~我在這邊……

他把我的安全帶鬆開，因為是倒吊著的關係，安全帶一鬆開我的腳就跪在滿是碎玻璃車頂上

啊~好痛……

他握住我的手，我看著他用力的踢著車門，但是門都變型了，當然沒法開，他改踹玻璃，玻璃一下就被他踹破，他先爬了出去，因為我的腳早已沒力，他伸出手把我拖了出去，一出車子，他立刻扶我站起來，往安全的地方走，握著他的手，我感覺的到他也在發抖，我也在發抖，我虛弱的說~老公，我好怕……

他更用力的握緊我的手，沒事了，我在這邊，沒事了……可是才沒走幾步路，我感覺到我的下腹部，隱隱做痛，老公….我肚子好痛………他馬上扶我坐在路邊，肚子痛~~很痛嗎??

他擔心的用手摸著我得肚子，等等唷~救護車馬上來…他緊緊把我抱在懷中…，警察不久知後，趕到，有傷者嗎?警察大聲的問有…我老婆懷孕了，她肚子很痛，快救她，快……

等救護車的過程中，我的肚子越來越痛，他一直握著我不停的說，沒事的，你們都會沒事的，看著他蒼白，擔心的臉，我努力的咬緊牙根，對他點點頭，給他一個虛弱的微笑，救護車一到，他把我抱上擔架床上，自己也一起上了救護車，一路上緊握著我的手，他緊張得對一旁的急救人員說，她剛懷孕1個多月醫生說，還不是很穩定，你們一定要救她跟孩子，急救人員熟練的在我的臉上套上氧氣照，我看著他擔心的樣子，忍不住流下了眼淚，他一見我哭，他更是握緊我的手，低下頭靠在我的手上，對不起，對不起，我不應該開這麼快，對不起…當他的頭一抬起來，我看見他哭了，眼淚從他的眼中流了下來，在一起9年來…他從來沒流過一滴眼淚，甚至陪他去參加他爺爺喪禮，他都沒哭過，現在看著他為我掉淚，我的心好疼，好疼，我難過的搖搖頭，伸出手，幫他擦去了淚水…

一路上我不段默念著觀世音菩薩的佛號，我只乞求讓我肚子裡的胎兒能夠安全沒事；一到醫院，他們就把我推進了急診室，他的手都沒放開過，但是一進手術室，護士說對他說，你不能進去，他才放手，我看著他，他看著我，一定沒事的，貝!你一定沒事的

這是他在我盡手術室時他跟我說的最後一句話，不知道為什麼，我覺得很害怕，比剛剛翻車時更害怕，當醫生，在檢查之後，他告訴我，妳已經流產了，我還來不及說什麼，麻藥就打進我身體，後來，我就不醒人事了……………

當我醒來後，貝~貝~~~耳邊傳來…一個女人的聲音，我睜開眼，看見是他姊姊，姊姊~~阿仁勒? 我看了看周圍，他姊姊哭著說…快走~~他快不行了…他在等妳…快去看他……她姊姊把我扶起來坐在輪椅上……我愣了一下……

誰快不行了…姊你說什麼…阿仁快不行了…他胸腔破裂..肺部大量出血…快不行了…一直吐血…他在等妳…快去看他………我一句話也說不出來……

一到加護病房，他父母都已經在一旁，傷心難過的哭………我一過去他身邊….我真的不敢相信..我眼前的事實……………

他的鼻孔插著管子…嘴角不斷的流血…牽起了他的手…老公..老公……不要嚇我..不要嚇我…他聽到我的聲音.睜開眼睛，他也回握著我的手…對不起…貝!!我沒有保護好你跟寶寶…對不起………不要..沒有…不是你的錯..你不要這樣說……

貝!!對不起~~我撐不住了，沒辦法再照顧妳……妳一定要乖乖的…活著，我們改約下輩子再在一起，我再補償妳，他痛苦的說這句話時，我的心都快碎了，我不要!!你說你要載我一輩子的，你答應我永遠不會拋棄我的，洪富仁，你說話要算話，不能丟下我…………你給我起來!!

老婆~~對不起~~~~~~~~~!!我…愛……你………

這一句話就是他留給我了最後一句……………
後來，我問醫院的醫生…醫生說他根本是用意志力在支撐，因為他根本沒有繫安全帶，撞擊時，胸口猛烈的撞到方向盤，肋骨斷裂刺入肺部，其實他當然應該是痛的不行，但是他撐著，還抱我上擔架，還一路上陪我到醫院，直到我盡手術室他才吐血，昏倒在地上，我知道，他只是要我不要擔心他，他只希望我們的孩子留住……

雖然他以前都會罵我，他做錯事從不道歉，但是我知道，真的知道……他有多愛我…………

這場車禍，奪走了我最愛的男人，也奪走了我們的孩子，辦完他的後事，我住在我們兩人以前的房間，好像一切都沒改變，我總覺得他只不過出去了，等等就會回家，看著他的衣服，他得電腦，我都以為這一切不過是場惡夢…
等等他就會出現在身邊，說…老婆~~不怕我在這邊……

我開始活在過去的回憶中，我躲在房間，不吃不喝，一直看著我們的婚紗照，看他寫給我的字條，我把他天堂遊戲中的人物開著，就好像他還在我身邊，我只是不斷的睡覺，因為我想他會回來我身邊的…… 但是他一直沒來，我總會哭濕了枕頭，我一直告訴他，我在等你，等你回來…………

一個多月過去了，因為眼淚留太多我的眼睛已經不能再被強光刺激，我開始想，你不來找我，我就去找你，於是我開始想尋死……割脕，服藥，我真的很想死，我真的很想跟他去，我開始恨他，為何帶走我們的孩子，丟我一人孤拎拎的在這個世界上，好幾次，我總是很像快要看見他了，卻又被一雙手給拉著，那是我父母的手…

當我自殺，醒來在醫院時，媽媽總是在我的身邊難過的流淚，我告訴她，媽..對不起，但是，我真的需要他…，媽媽難過的說，我就妳一個女兒，你走了，我要靠誰……

爸爸，把我接了回家，朋友們經常來看我，要我去外面走走，很快半年過去了，我仍然常常回他家，整理我們的房間，整理他的車子，有一天，我在他家吃飯時，我告訴他媽媽，我想嫁他，我要跟他一輩子，他媽媽，流下眼淚，說..阿仁..交到你這個女朋友，就算為了保護你而死，他也甘願，隔天，我們在他的靈堂前，擲茭問他，可是，都是沒茭……我和他媽媽，都傻掉了，為什麼…為什麼你不娶我，你不是愛我的嗎?

為什麼………當我從早上問到晚上都沒有結果時，我哭倒在他的靈前，你怎麼捨的留我這麼痛苦，我一個人坐在漆黑的房間裡，哭個不停，我真的好需要你，以前你的世界就是我的世界，你走了…要我怎麼活下去…

忽然…有一種溫暖的感覺…攏照著我的身體……我抬起頭……是他…他把我抱在懷中…

傻瓜…我一直沒走我一直在妳身邊..只是你看不見..你要勇敢走下去…你越勇敢我才越開心…我在這邊和我們的兒子一起守護著妳，當你的保鑣，寶貝…不是我不娶你...是我們早已是一體，妳的手，我會永遠的握著…你不孤單的知道嗎?

老公…我也要和你在一起……我們一家三口在一起…我不要一個人.....，我緊緊的抱著他…他抬起我的頭…笑著說，不行，你要照顧爸爸媽媽，還有我們的車子阿…還有我們的狗狗，還有我最愛的人阿……誰??………

妳阿…就是妳自己…答應我勇敢一點…我沒有走……我在你身邊…永遠…不要…老公不要走……………………

我一睜開眼…原來是我的夢……但是那種感覺真的好熟悉，他真的來過了，在我的身邊老公…我答應你.我會勇敢……因為我知道你在我的身邊，你一直在守護著我……

****************************************************

兩年多了…我的憂鬱症也已經好多了…

我努力記憶著他以前教我的開車方法，我開著他的車，自己上下班，載他媽媽去買菜，我延續他的習慣，從不電動洗車，我放假時也自己洗車，打臘，很想他的時候就載著我們養的狗狗，去所有我們曾經去過得地方，假日晚上，我跟他的朋友們一起去跑山道，握著方向盤的我，過彎一點也不害怕，他朋友說，我開車的樣子，跟他一模一樣，我總是笑著回答，你怎麼知道是我開不是他開的……

我不再留眼淚，我微笑面對一切，因為.......我知道他和我們的寶寶都在我得身邊…握著我的手………說不怕……我在這邊………(完)

p.s她現在努力的生活著.....我相信在她的身上..我看見了世界上最美麗愛情..........這真滴是真人真事喔!!當有沙子跑進你的眼睛裡時，您有不去揉它們的智慧ㄇ？

從前的我不懂妳犧牲多大
為我失去朋友不講
還放棄了所有夢想覺得沒怎樣
不會將心比心去想
讓妳慢慢慢慢失去了
希望能不能夠再給我機會好好的愛妳
我會仔細的聆聽
妳對我說的一言一語
我會學會去控制脾氣不讓妳傷心
對妳好好的去珍惜
請妳相信我的心還是愛妳

http://takey.myweb.hinet.net/miss35.htm

I turn to you by Christina Aquilera

When I'm lost...in the rain
In your eyes I know I'll find the light
To light my way
When I'm scared losing ground
When my world is going crazy
You can turn it all around
And when I'm down you're there
Pushing me to the top
You're always there giving me all you've got

For a shield, from the storm
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength, to be strong
For the will to carry on
For everything you do
For everything that's true
I turn to you

When I lose...the will to win
I just reach for you
And I can reach the sky again
I can do anything
'Cause your love is so amazing
'Cause your love inspires me
And when I need a friend
You're always on my side
Giving me faith
taking me through the night

Humans

Humans are the most complex type of animals in the world..

It is almost impossible to guess or know what the other person is thinking or the cause of their actions or behaviour even thou he or she is your close partner.. sometimes one don't even know what they want or are thinking about, so how do they expect others to know.. at times, ones willpower is too weak and just cant control themselves, ended up having a volcano eruption or doing silly things.. the brain is just too complex..

Is the human nature born, or is it the environment that causes it? maybe it works in both ways, under the influence of peer pressure, the surroundings.. some people are optimistic, some are pessimistic.. some are responsible, some irresponsible.. some are leaders, some are followers.. etc etc..

No one is perfect in this world, if you think you are, then there is definitely sth wrong with you, immaturity in your brain.. often, people will have two faces, one in which is the one when you are outside with other people, the other when you are alone.. if you notice, normally the loudest person in a group is actually the one who will be hurt more, emotionally.. not saying a quiet person will not feel emotionally hurt, but in most cases, given the same situation, the louder person will not be able to handle the problems properly or better.. WHY? maybe it's because showing a louder personality to others can help hide their inferior side, but in fact, maybe they are the emotionally weakest of all..

At times, we only look at the bad points of one's character, often forgetting the good points of them.. you may say, he only has bad points and i cant see his good points, then, this may be one flaw in you.. view him and understand him with your heart, definitely he has some good points..

Treating pple like how you want them to treat you is an important factor.. it's a two way basis.. if they didn't realise it now, at least you tried your best, they will sooner or later realise it, maybe after a few years.. we should also put ourselves in someone's shoes and not make life difficult for them, having an attitude problem is not the correct way.. sad to say, most of us have this attitude problem towards different matters, no doubt even i have this problem, no use denying, you can bluff your way thru the others, but after all, one cannot deceive oneself.. so what if your studies and grades are excellent, but in the end your character is like shit, do you think till the end of the day pple will still want to hang out with you.. you may have a degree or even higher, but you may spend your life in the jail or having to spend a lonely life, is all these worth while and what you wanted, will you be happy ?!!

The human brain is too complex to understand, it take a few decades to learn.. the most important thing is that you must be contented with what you have, not take anything for granted, and not do things that disappoint the people who really care for you..

*PS: the above are only my opinion, it does not refers to anybody.. so, do not sue me for that.. =P

Happy one year~

27/09/2006... woohoo... Happy one year !!

What happened on 27/09/2005 was like ytd, everything is still so clearly on my mind.. by the beach, the sunset, the chalet, everything.. thought of it simply melts my heart, so sweet... (thou there's one part that's so diao, erm you know what i mean la hur ?? *winks..)

through this one year,
it's you who made me feel love...
it's you who brought colours to my life...
it's you who affected my mood, happy or sad...
it's you who brought tears and laughters to my life...
it's you who made me feel worthwhile living in this world...
it's you who's always there to lend me your shoulder...
it's you who's always there to lend me your ears...
it's you who tolerated my grumpyness...
it's you my boy, it's you...
it's all about you...

i believe with no quarrelling is what that makes us special.. the bond between you and me is so special.. everything is too precious to be broken.. memories will never be forgotten, all kept deep down in our heart.. loving each other is what we treasured.. =)..

I do not ask for luxuries, neither do i need you to spend money on me, so pls do not tired yourself by working.. it hurts my heart when i always see you so tired after long hours of work.. what i wanted is very simple, and i believe you know what it is... =P

Anyways, today's a great day.. lunch and movie with you makes me feel so happy and contented, further more you sent me home... smiles... =).. there's nth much more i can ask for...
boy, thxs for everything for this one year, and i believe there's more to come, right ? hahax.. with you by my side, my first and only one... loving you so much, with all my heart and soul.. happy one year anniversary my dear.... <3